Four years ago if you were to ask me how I felt about the church I would’ve probably told you that I hate it.

I am a pastor’s kid.

Growing up I felt like there were always around a zillion people in my house.

There were constantly people who wanted my parent’s attention.

I literally had to wait in line to talk to my dad after he preached on Sundays.

My dad could never go to my dance competitions on Sundays.

My mom was everyone’s counselor.

I felt like I had to be at every church function in the history of everdom.

And people had really unrealistic expectations of me.

If I were being honest I would tell you that I felt like the church took my parents away from me, and even worse, I felt like the church didn’t even appreciate them or their time.

I saw the good the bad and the ugly.

And for a very long time I felt like it was mostly the latter two.

I didn’t like the church and I definitely didn’t trust them.

Let me take a second to stop and say I have the best parents in the entire universe… like I really do honestly believe that.

My dad is a fantastic pastor and an even better dad, so much so that it is literally hard for me to understand how my heavenly Father can love me more than my earthly parents do. That kind of love hurts my head to even think about.

My mom is the most supportive, beautiful, and down-to-earth human I know, and I seriously pray that I can be half the mom she is one day.

The problem wasn’t really my parents or even the church.

The problem was me.

I was so quick to jump on the “everyone in the church is a hypocrite” bandwagon that I didn’t even understand that broken and messed up people were the only reason the church even exists.

So let me just give a big “duh…” to people who feel like the church is full of people that show up to church on Sundays and have their lives a wreck.

I fully understand that the church also has people that are totally fake and act like they have it all together, but believe it or not, Christ died for them too.


But that’s what ultimately unifies the church, right?

We all NEED Christ.

In Mark chapter two, verse seventeen Jesus says,

“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

If I could speak to my younger self I would tell her something like this…

“Wake up. Of course the people in the church are messed up, it is full of humans, and every one of us needs Christ, whether you like it or not. The church was designed for the broken. YOU ARE JUST AS BROKEN. You need Christ just as much as everyone else. Start to look at these broken people as a blessing, listen to them when they try to help you not make the same mistakes. Stop getting mad when these people come into your house. Shut up and listen. YOUR PARENTS AREN’T IDIOTS. They are some of the most Christ-like humans you will ever meet, they have dedicated their lives to acknowledging that they are broken, and taking what God has taught them in their brokenness to teach other people and allow God to speak through them. The church was never supposed to be perfect, love them anyway and allow others to love you. The only thing you have in common with most of these people is Christ, and that is enough when you are finding your identity in Him. People in the church are going to hurt you and your family, get used to it. Learn to forgive as Christ forgave… and stop wearing so much eyeliner, you look ridiculous.”

Recently, God has been teaching me a lesson in loving the church.

When I got to Nashville I was not in a hurry to get involved In a church anywhere, but over the past few months I have been overwhelmed by all that God is teaching me about how much He loves the church and how important it is that we realize who exactly the church is for, and more importantly who it is made of.

I’m relearning what loving the church means, and if you have church-trust issues like me, I want to encourage you to really pray through what the Bible says about the purpose of the church.

Please do not let stereotypical-church-problems keep you from what God might be trying to teach you through a body of other broken people trying to figure this thing out with you,

Sooner or later the body of Christ has to start getting honest with each other and learn how to love the broken together,








To The Ends of The Earth



6 thoughts on “HATING THE CHURCH

  1. So, I love this because I know it’s your heart and I love that you finally wrote it! Broken, messed up people are who God uses 🙂

  2. Love your heart. If we could be totally honest about being forgiven sinners, more people might want to learn about Christ. I volunteered at the homeless women’s shelter yesterday. I try to be real and open with these ladies. I want them to know I love them because Christ first loved me. Thank you for sharing.


    Sent from my iPad


  3. LOVE your honesty. If we all could be as honest. Thank you for sharing from your heart. I think you are becoming as great a woman as your mom. You sure have great insights for a young woman. God bless!

  4. B, you are a gifted writer with messages straight from the heart. You are such a beautiful person, inside and out. I am so proud of you & your involvement in the Christian ministry. I look forward to learning about the ministry & your travels in future blogs. I love you! Wanda Smith

  5. I’ve got a PK inside of me too…and a pastor’s wife as well. I’ve worked in churches as well, and all I can say to people who are hurting like that is that to keep faith and religion separate. That faith relationship has strengthened you and given you those new rivers of life in church. I’ve been through some major stuff too, but I’ve always believed that the CHURCH is the Bride of Christ, and when I teach adults in Bible Study, my preface is…Life happens to the best of us…and we’re all in that category if we know the Lord. Thanks for sharing your heart.

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